Providing the perfect Christmas gift for anyone who’s ever dreamed of crying themselves to sleep from atop Peter Parker’s overly determined face, Marvel has announced a new line of adult bedding for the discerning comicphile. Sold through ThinkGeek, the set consists of a relatively muted comforter, a MARVEL-emblazoned pillowcase, and an art-festooned set of sheets, the latter giving the distinct impression that laying on them might leave the user looking like a glob of Silly Putty that’s been pressed into an old issue of The Incredible Hulk.
Running about $140 for the combined comforter and sheet set, the licensed merch is marketed, probably unnecessarily, with the tagline, “Never, ever grow up.” That’s possibly because “growing up” usually involves interacting at some point with women, which, as some disgruntled ThinkGeek customers have pointed out, won’t be happening much with these, since they mostly omit female superheroes like Black Widow, Scarlet Witch, or the Wasp from their starchy tour of the Marvel Universe. Testing the flame-retardant properties of the new bedding set with a Human Torch-level burn, one commenter on the store’s page questioned the odd omission, asking, “Are you that scared of having a woman on your bed?” (ThinkGeek’s customer response team has presumably been too busy building Thor-themed pillow forts and shouting, “Excelsior!” at each other to address the complaint so far.)