Like the inevitable Lynyrd Skynyrd encore of “Freebird,” this is the recording that fans of Mel Gibson’s recent series of cell phone soliloquies have been patiently waiting for, finally giving us the catchphrase we’ve all been demanding: In an audio excerpt once again hosted exclusively at RadarOnline, Gibson screams, “I’ll burn the goddamn house down, but blow me first,” not long after lamenting that “I should have fucking woken you up and said, ‘Blow me’” in the midst of a rant about a missed hot-tub date or something. He also experiments with a bit of playful surrealism here, shouting, “I deserve to be blown first—before the fucking jacuzzi!” Let this be a lesson to other couples: Always establish a mutually agreed-upon blowjob schedule, lest you encounter similar complications. Failing to plan is planning to fail.
And for those wondering when these audio excerpts would finally find their way to the dance floor, check out rapper Ras Kass’ “Why You Be Dressin’ Like That,” which takes a few stabs at Gibson’s racist comments, but also makes them sound pretty tight.