Ubisoft announced today that it will release a Michael Jackson video game just in time for the holidays, which will allow users to perform the singer’s signature dance moves. [Pause for mass emetic purging of crotch-grabbing jokes.] “You are going to learn how to moonwalk,” Ubisoft marketing vice president Tony Key commanded while briefly channeling Joe Jackson, telling attendees of the E3 conference that the as-yet-untitled game will take advantage of the new motion-control systems debuting this year, like Microsoft’s Xbox add-on Kinect and Playstation’s Move, while also working with traditional handheld controllers on the Wii and Nintendo DS. No word yet on whether the latest Michael Jackson video game will also feature a plotline about saving kidnapped children through the power of dance—and if it doesn’t, what’s the point?