February film preview: Valentine treats from Paddington, Captain America, and the Looney Tunes

Shaking off the January doldrums, February movie theaters fill their love seats (or plush recliners) with lovesick horror and action movies for the lovebirds and lonely hearts, while the actual rom-coms are shunted to streamers. We have Hallmark to thank for turning romantic comedies into exploitation films, but there’s still plenty of romance on the big screen. Why not take that special someone to the Peruvian romance between bear and breakfast spread in Paddington In Peru? But everyone gets a gift this year in our February film preview: The Looney Tunes take the silver screen by storm in The Day The Earth Blew Up, the first purely animated Merrie Melody to get a theatrical release, while other sweet treats include a new nightmare from Osgood Perkins and one very Red Hulk.

Kinda Pregnant (February 5)

On Trainwreck’s 10th anniversary, Amy Schumer stars in an actual, honest-to-goodness comedy built around her own comedic persona. In Kinda Pregnant, Schumer stars as a woman pretending to be pregnant so people will be nice to her. Sure, it’s the plot of an early Arrested Development arc, but we’ll let it slide because Kinda Pregnant actually looks kinda funny. 

Heart Eyes (February 7)

Valentine’s-themed slasher Heart Eyes looks more Halloween than My Bloody Valentine, which is to say, there are no miners in the trailer. The Heart Eyes Killer uses the most romantic night of the year for murderous purposes, presumably seeking revenge on a small town’s horny couples over some V-Day infraction. Directed by Josh Ruben (Werewolves Within), the horror appears to have tongue firmly planted in cheek, which can be disastrous if you’re kissing but is necessary for a horror-comedy penned by the folks behind Freaky. 

Love Hurts (February 7)

Ke Huy Quan is putting his Everything Everywhere All At Once fight training to good use. In Love Hurts, he shows off those Oscar-winning skills as a retired assassin dragged back into the game by Rose (fellow Oscar winner Arianna DeBose) and Marshawn Lynch (no Oscar, but he was funny in Bottoms), to fight his brother (Daniel Wu). From the David Leitch-adjacent squad who brought you Nobody, Violent Night, Bullet Train, Atomic Blonde, and Fall Guy comes a movie that, yeah, looks like a movie from those guys. 

Bring Them Down (February 7)

Bring Them Down’s trailer teases one of the most intense shepherding movies in recent memory. Starring Barry Keoghan and Christopher Abbott (ensuring it’s the most intensely acted shepherding movie in recent memory), Bring Them Down follows Abbott as the son of a dying shepherd and family patriarch (Colm Meaney). Abbott’s isolated Irish life gets upended after tensions rise with a rival farm, triggering a violent escalation between families. 

Parthenope (February 7)

Paolo Sorrentino’s latest, Parthenope, explores the age-old fantasy of a lady so hot that an entire town in Italy wants to kiss her. While that far-out premise may feel like Fellini leftovers, Parthenope (Celeste Dalla Porta, then Stefania Sandrelli as she ages) also meets poet John Cheever (Gary Oldman). If a movie of several men flirting with the same woman whilst basking under the Napoli sun sounds romantic, consider saying “Partheyup” to Parthenope. 

Universal Language (February 12)

One of our favorite movies of 2024 is finally bringing audiences to that interzone between Tehran and Winnipeg. Directed by Winnipeg-born filmmaker Matthew Rankin, the oddball comedy Universal Language, through a mix of Farsi and French, blends three seemingly disconnected stories. As Brianna Zigler put it in our best-of feature: “Universal Language articulates an unspoken closeness between its diversity of characters through the blurring of cultural differences, to create a film about how we are all, in a way, each other.”

Bridget Jones: Mad About The Boy (February 13)

For a fourth time, Renée Zellweger enters the Jonesiverse, now as a widowed Bridget, who’s single and ready to mingle four years after Mark’s (Colin Firth) death. Once again joining the dating scene as a woman in mourning, Jones now has two kids in tow and needs to get her groove back, so a-Bridget Jonesing we shall go. It’s only a little sad to see these characters slumming it on Peacock, but at least she’s got dates with Leo Woodall and Chiwetel Ejiofor. 

Captain America: Brave New World (February 14)

Marvel goes back to the Winter Soldier well for its next Captain America movie, leaning once again into throwback political thrillers like Parallax View. Someone’s been brainwashing, string-pulling, and it all leads up to…well, to a big red Harrison Ford hulking out. President Thunderbolt Ross and the governmental fallout that will certainly follow him being compromised as a Hulk will surely be the focus of the film’s plot, at least when Anthony Mackie isn’t simply beating the tar out of various goons.

Paddington In Peru (February 14)

Everyone’s favorite rain-ready teddy is back for a third marmalade sandwich. Now heading to his homeland in darkest Peru to find the perpetually missing Aunt Lucy, Paddington Bear (voiced by Ben Whishaw) rides the umbrella of fate, hoping to land in a suitable and satisfying continuation of the beloved series. With Paul King trapped in the Wonka factory, director Dougal Wilson takes the reins with a new Mary Brown (Emily Mortimer taking over for Sally Hawkins). Just don’t leave us with a hard stare, Wilson.

The Gorge (February 14)

The Gorge might be Apple TV+’s most 30 Rock-esque offering. Anya Taylor-Joy and Miles Teller play super-snipers and spies assigned to guard opposite sides of the magic hole to Hell. Directed by Scott Derrickson, The Gorge teases a romance blossoming across the hole, only to bloom as soon as they fully descend into the deep. The trailer assures us there’s actually something down there, and it’s got a really long tongue. 

The Monkey (February 21)

The Monkey’s trailer is such an ooey, gooey, soft-and-spewy good time that we’re almost afraid to see the movie. An adaptation of a Stephen King short story about a cursed wind-up monkey, Longlegs director Osgood Perkins teams up with James Wan to put an all-star cast through the Karo-syrup-soaked wringer. Hyped as an excessively gory good time at the movies, The Monkey sees Theo James pulling double-duty as the lifelong audience to the titular toy primate’s unpredictable and gruesome exploits.

Cleaner (February 21)

Martin Campbell must be an A.V. Club reader. Finally putting Daisy Ridley in an action movie, Campbell orchestrates a Die Hard riff in which the Jedi plays an ex-soldier windowwasher who must stop a group of international terrorists led by Clive Owen, who has taken her building hostage. Cleaner will undoubtedly invite comparisons to everyone’s favorite Christmas movie, but hopefully, Ridley and Owen will have enough juice to make it something all their own. 

The Day The Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie (February 28)

After the Coyote Vs. Acme debacle, it was fair to assume that it might be a long time before we saw the Looney Tunes on screen again. Little did we know that a full-blown animated Looney movie waited in the wings. The Day The Earth Blew Up is the first fully animated Looney Tunes movie ever, and it’s putting all its faith in the Duck and Pig. It’s all on Daffy and Porky (both voiced by Eric Bauza) in what looks like a much-needed reintroduction to animation’s most iconic characters.

Last Breath (February 28)

Woody Harrelson, Simu Liu, and Finn Cole are going deep in Last Breath. The true story of deep-sea divers attempting to rescue a crewmate trapped at the bottom of the ocean during a massive storm, Last Breath sees filmmaker Alex Parkinson dramatize his own 2019 documentary. 

My Dead Friend Zoe (February 28)

My Dead Friend Zoe is indeed about someone’s dead friend. Star Trek: Discovery’s Sonequa Martin-Green stars as Merit, an Army veteran who returns from Afghanistan haunted by the ghost of her best friend Zoe (Natalie Morales), presumably killed in combat. As Merit navigates life as a civilian, Zoe, like Merit’s father (Ed Harris), adds to Merit’s insecurities over seeking treatment for her PTSD. Much to the dismay of Zoe, Merit finds comfort in a therapy group run by Morgan Freeman.