Nicole Richie to star in that "professional mom" sitcom her whole career has been building toward

Nicole Richie somehow pulled off the role of a slightly ditzy, sort-of bitchy lady of privilege on Chuck a couple of years ago, and ever since then, the networks have been falling all over themselves to build a show around her, because a lot of them remember seeing her face in magazines all the time, and that means people must like her. Anyway, no one wants that TV show more than Richie, who as we all know has “mellowed” and become a “serious mom” and so forth, and who is looking to start the “next phase” of her career, preferably making use of “ideas” like her 2005 “novel” The Truth About Diamonds, which tells the “story” of the adopted daughter of a famous singer who spends her nights hitting Hollywood’s hottest parties and nightclubs while battling a drug addiction. Seriously, that’s what it was about. It was also a bestseller.

At one point, plans were even made to turn that book into a TV show, but somehow those fell apart, perhaps when the networks finally got around to reading the book jacket and were like, "It's about what?" However, now Deadline reports that Ritchie will both produce and star in a new pilot for a single-camera comedy, apparently no longer based on Truth About Diamonds, about a “professional woman/mom character,” which is more in keeping with the kind of person Nicole Richie pretends to relate to today when she gives interviews. As intriguing as all that is, unfortunately no other details about it are known, because when it comes to creating hit sitcoms, apparently “Nicole Richie” is all ye know on Earth, and all ye need to know. It’s sort of a Keatsian, cold Grecian urn sort of thing. (Yes, we are aware that Nicole Richie isn’t Greek, but just go with us here. "Ode on a Half Black/Half Latino Urn"—is that better?) Say, what are the chances that we never discuss this ever again? Pretty good, actually. Should probably take advantage of it. Here's Lionel Richie's video for "Hello." They should just make this into a sitcom instead, like a deeply inappropriate Head Of The Class.