Nonagenarian legend Dick Van Dyke joins Cameo, undervalues himself at $500

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You’re probably familiar with Cameo, the service that lets you book famous/almost famous/used-to-be famous people to deliver video messages to your loved ones. You can have Debbie Gibson deliver your Galentine’s message to your best friend for $150, or Larry Thomas, a.k.a. Seinfeld’s “Soup Nazi,” deliver a stern admonition for $80. We’re strongly considering having Jerry from Cheer send us his own inspirational mat talk for $150.
Or, for a slightly higher price ($500), you can use your hard-earned cash to hire an absolute legend: 94-year-old Dick Van Dyke. Hey, he’s probably not going to live forever, despite all evidence to the contrary.