Alongside petrochemicals and delicious halibut, one of Norway’s chief exports has become the brutal black metal of bands like Mayhem, Satyricon, and Dimmu Borgir. So naturally, any Norwegian dignitary should be able to speak intelligently on the topic—or at least, that’s the idea behind the new course in “True Norwegian Black Metal” that’s now being offered to all of the nation’s future diplomats. According to the Norwegian diplomatic academy’s deputy head Steinar Lindberg, “Black metal is an export product and it's important that future diplomats are interested in it,” saying that people all over the world are learning Norwegian specifically to translate black metal lyrics, and it’s important that all of their envoys have some understanding of the genre. This should hopefully defuse any potential tense situations for their diplomats, such as when they find themselves at a state dinner, and Joe Biden wants to talk about whether he thinks Burzum’s Varg Vikernes really murdered Mayhem’s Euronymous. Because that guy is obsessed.
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