[Spoilers for Avengers: Endgame, of course]
Sermons and homilies provide great opportunities for a pastor or priest to really relate to their audience, but, when youth is involved, there’s a fine line between relatable and horrifyingly cringey. Take this pastor, who, in front of reportedly thousands of teens, drops what’s definitively the biggest Endgame spoiler. You can literally see him slowly realize just how deep into hell he’s been banished.
Any sane, life-loving human would know not to spoil any little detail from Endgame a week out from its debut, especially not in front of kids. Not this guy, though, because as he’s making a larger point about being passionate he casually drops the news that, hey, Iron Man is dead. “It doesn’t have to be that deep,” he says. “Or maybe you’re talking about the latest Avengers movie or something and how Iron Man’s dead—” That’s when he’s met with a big, furious “NO!” and the sad realization that these kids will now forever hate him and, by extension, God.
The best part, though, is his reaction. If you pause it nine seconds in, you’ll see his “Oh, fuck” face, which is more golden than Exodus’ abominable calf. “It’s been a week!” he shouts out to his booing congregation. “I just saved you $12 on an overpriced movie.” Ah, yes, because condescension is always the best way to get teenagers back on your side.
Doing a surprise spoiler attack on your teen parishioners for one of the most anticipated, secretive movies of their lives is one way to ensure they stray from the light. One wonders if the pastor was actually Thanos in disguise, because he probably just cut his congregation by half.