Noted black leader Ted Nugent launches "Black Power" tour, to empower black people

In recent years, the human bottle-opener flip-flop that is Ted Nugent has done his very best to foster pride in the black community by embodying all the most hateful qualities of the white community. But now he’s taking a far more actionable, totally marketable route to bringing black people together so they can listen to some Ted Nugent music and Ted Nugent's ideas and then feel better about themselves: He's launching a tour he’s dubbed “Ted Nugent Black Power 2013," because no one who works for him is allowed to disagree with Ted Nugent anymore, apparently.

Typing in his regular column on World Net Daily, Nugent takes the opportunity afforded by Black History Month to “honor blacks” by talking about Ted Nugent, whose “gravity-defying career pivots on my intense adulation for my black musical heroes”—and thus gives him an equally intense personal dismay over how the Democratic Party, The New Deal, Lyndon Johnson’s “Great Society experiment,” and especially Barack Obama are collectively the “engineer of the destruction of black America.” This, rather than helping to strengthen black America in the way that Ted Nugent does, whenever he plays the powerfully black music of Ted Nugent.

“My fire-breathing musical career was literally launched by black musical thundergods such as Bo Diddly, Little Richard, James Brown, Wilson Picket, Sam & Dave, Albert King, BB King, Freddie King, the mighty Funk Brothers, and the epitome of Rock ‘n’ Roll Gods, the master, Chuck Berry,” Nugent says of the many black artists who literally launched the career of Ted Nugent, turning his every performance of “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang” into a condensed Black History Month.

“Say it loud: My music is black and I’m proud!” Nugent concludes, echoing the many other times Nugent has demonstrated that he truly understands black people, such as when suggested he’d assassinate President Obama, decried Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton for “lisping their ebonic mumbo-jumbo,” wondered aloud whether the South should have won the Civil War, and called himself a “black Jew at a Nazi-Klan rally” due to his very similar persecution by the media for being a wealthy rock star who says deliberately inflammatory things. Still, as “Ted Nugent Black Power 2013” will demonstrate, Ted Nugent definitely has some sympathetic understanding of black history, given that he’s been the embarrassing, minstrel-show version of white men for decades now.