The last time we saw nurse Jackie, she was lying on the floor of the hospital ladies room, having just downed three vials of morphine to somehow obliterate the fact that her life (or lives, rather) had just imploded. Eddie, her boyfriend/pharmacist, told her he knew she was married. Worse, Eddie said that he'd met her husband. And Jackie was so desperate for a fix, she used her PIN to steal multiple vials of morphine from the automatic pill dispenser—an action that would almost certainly expose her as an addict, if, you know, the whole lying-on-the-floor-of-the-hospital-ladies-room-high-on-opiates thing didn't. The boundaries between Jackie's many lives were not just about to be blurred, but erased entirely—and it seemed as if no amount of dreamily floating granules could save Jackie now.
But as it turns out, drugs can make bad things go away for good. Who knew (besides nurse Jackie)? The second season of Nurse Jackie dawns with granules floating down from heaven, Jackie on a beach, and Kevin—the blandest, dullest, most robotic husband a girl could ask for—kissing Jackie and telling her that he loves her "like this." Is it a dream? A pretty, drug-induced reverie? No. It's real. Jackie and Husbandbot are apparently still very happily married, and the kids are alright—Well, maybe not Grace who brings soap to the beach and who frets about the sun exploding, but Fiona seems perfectly fine. (And she has an eye for dead raccoon head photography.)
So Eddie didn't tell Kevin he was sleeping with Jackie. But Jackie can't still be working at All Saints, right? Surely someone must have discovered Jackie doped up on that bathroom floor, or traced the missing morphine to her? Even cartoonish Hospital Administrator Akilitus must have deduced what was going on with Jackie after an incident like that, right? Wrong. As it turns out, the Pill-O-Matix is absurdly easy to steal from—a skill that Jackie helpfully demonstrates for the audience right in front of Akalitus during a nurses meeting.
So, basically, there is no fallout whatsoever from last season's finale: Jackie's still happily married to a clueless robot; Jackie's still a secret addict; and Jackie can still get her fix from the hospital pharmacy with no repurcussions. The only change is that Jackie is no longer speaking to/sleeping with Eddie, who has to resort to taking a calculated overdose of Xanax to get her attention. It's almost as if the cliffhanger never happened—which is a shame because dramatically this show could use a shake up.
Still, as stale and shoddy as the drama is in this dramedy, the light comedy of it is still pretty fresh. Both Merritt Weaver and Peter Facinelli, as Zooey and Coop, respectively, are nimble comic players, and any scene featuring either (or both) of them is fun to watch. Eve Best (aka Dr. Fancypants) also has her moments. And, despite the rather lame drama swirling around her, Edie Falco's coolly exasperated Jackie still somehow rises above.
Stray Observations:
—One thing this season's done right: Momo has been replaced by Sam, a former addict, who should be at least a little more interesting dramatically.
—Seduction secrets with Dr. Coop: "House seats. Hair. Fourth row. Takes place in the 60s…might take you back."
—"She sent me a picture of a dead animal knowing it would be the highlight of my day." Aww. I love it when people bond over a shared love of gross things. Really.
—"If this were a food pyramid, I would be the steak."
—Anyone think Kevin will grow a personality this season?