One more plug of a friend's work, then we'll get back to telling you about terrible-looking remake prospects. In stores today: The New Vampire's Handbook: A Guide For The Recently Turned Creature Of The Night. It is, as the name suggests, a guide for first-time bloodsuckers written by "The Vampire Miles Proctor." But the real brains behind it is a writing team that includes The Onion's Joe Garden, his lovely wife Anita Serwacki, and pals Janet Ginsburg, Chris Pauls, and Scott Sherman. You may also know them for their work on The Dangerous Book For Dogs and The Devious Book For Cats. Are you a new vampire? Do you know a new vampire? Do you just want to be prepared? Then here's your book:
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