Only Murders In The Building is thrown into chaos

Only Murders In The Building’s writers heard chatter about the show having too many famous guest stars and said, “Just you wait.” At least that’s how I imagine it went as they sketched out “Valley Of The Dolls,” in which Charles, Oliver, and Mabel temporarily hide at Charles’ sister’s Long Island home, which leads to several talented names holed up under her suburban roof. Here’s the headcount: Steve Martin, Martin Short, Selena Gomez, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Zach Galifianakis, Molly Shannon, Meryl Streep, Melissa McCarthy, and character actor Jason Kravits, with the latter two making their OMITB debuts. Everyone comes together for a messy, heartwarming 40 minutes that embody what film professor Milton Dudenoff told his class in episode six’s flashback: “Chaos can be good. Chaos can be art.”  

I’ve been vocal about OMITB upsettingly straying from the central trio and suspense in season four, thanks to the infusion of Hollywood in a much bigger way than, say, Sting or Amy Schumer in previous seasons. But even I can’t complain when this episode delivers Streep and McCarthy in a physical fight, with Longoria egging them on, or Galifianakis taking a grand bow after being complimented for FX’s Baskets. As random as these shenanigans are, only OMITB can make them happen. “Valley Of The Dolls” is ultimately super entertaining (if only Paul Rudd, Da’Vine Joy Randolph, and Tina Fey had cameos to add to said chaos).  

With the distance from Arconia, there’s not much progress case-wise, but a lot goes down character-wise, at least for Charles and Oliver. After fleeing New York City, the trio lands at Doreen’s (McCarthy) place to escape from a murderer with prying eyes. Mabel only tells Howard (Michael Cyril Creighton), who wastes no time giving this secret info to studio rep Bev Melon (Shannon), Loretta (Streep), and the three actors. Everyone winds up at Doreen’s for various unbelievable reasons. Okay, not Loretta. Her appearance is very valid, but I don’t think Bev (who is worried about the movie being in limbo), or Eva, Zach, and Eugene (who are worried about their safety) had any business being there realistically, not that it matters. The goal is to confine them all in a small space to let their personal and professional demons out. This results in a sweet Haden-Savage family moment, Bev’s drunk outburst, a gushy engagement, and a huge revelation about the past. 

But let’s start with the perfectly cast McCarthy. Doreen is a great foil to Charles and Loretta because her crazy actions force them to reflect on their own. Lonely, sad, and frustrated with her life, Doreen has developed a habit of collecting dolls of all shapes and sizes. Reader, I counted at least 25 in her living room, with more in the bedrooms. Yikes. So, yes, she’s a sweet little weirdo. This has derailed her relationship with Charles and even her husband, Mike (Kravits), whom she kicked out of the house. (He’s now living in a boat parked on their driveway.) Doreen thinks none of the men in her life are equipped to handle just how vulnerable she is—at least not until she meets the “too emotionally available” Oliver, who’s a turn-on for her. 

Meanwhile, poor, sweet Oliver has just broken up with Loretta over a text message. After all, he does still believe her response to his declaration of love and marriage was “UGH!” The trio have turned off their phones so no one can trace their location, which means if Loretta replies, Oliver won’t know. Instead of solving the crimes in eerie peace with Mabel, he tries to drown his sorrows with alcohol. It’s too bad Doreen doesn’t have any watermelon liqueur, huh? At least she makes him a Sweaty Betty, a.k.a. a strong mix of vodka and Crystal Lite. Doreen also happily keeps him company, rapidly developing a crush on her “short king.” (I get it!)

Their, um, friendship is short-lived because Loretta swoops in to get her man back. She flies in from L.A. as soon as she gets the breakup text to demand an explanation. Hey, if she’s willing to let filming a Grey’s spin-off slide, it’s true love! She further clarifies to Oliver that it was her stand-in who answered the call. Why didn’t this person tell Loretta about her boyfriend’s declaration? Anyway, with the doubts cleared, they get back together. (Loretta also adds, “I don’t think you’re ‘Ugh,’ I think you’re ‘Mmm,’” to which Oliver’s responds with a low growl. Get a room!)

In fact, Loretta proposes to Oliver using a bracelet from one of the dolls because it’s as tiny as a ring. Here’s what she tells Oliver, and I’m writing it in its entirety because it’s lovely and affirms that Streep and Short (IRL romance or not) share the warmest chemistry: “Oliver, from the moment I met you, I knew deep in my heart that you were a lunatic. You must have, by my count, six different stories about running into Lynda Carter at grocery stores. Despite your obvious pathologies, I’m here still and I’m not going anywhere. And I sign on to your crazy for a lifetime.” (Between this and Nobody Wants This’ “I can handle you” moment, it’s a good time to be a rom-com fan, right?) 

Martin Short’s face when Oliver announces to the group, “This bitch is getting married” needs to be framed and kept in the Louvre. Not even a brief spat between Oliver and Loretta, once he confesses about his “Ronnie” finsta account, can derail them now. What does happen before their engagement is a fight between Loretta and Doreen. It’s not a regular verbal spat; it’s a literal let-me-pull-your-pigtails-and-give-you-a-karate-kick assault. Their argument about how wonderful Oliver is turns violent, with everyone looking on and Longoria encouraging them. It’s wild and hilarious. Streep vs. McCarthy! Thank you, Only Murders.  

This fight also pushes Charles to finally talk to his sister. He spends the rest of the episode making sure the house is safe, as he doesn’t want to put any more loved ones in danger after Sazz. When Charles and Doreen open up, we learn they were raised by an emotionally distant mother. Doreen’s best childhood memory was going with her to see Charles’ play, which was the only time her mom held her hand. Doreen says her brother was always destined to be famous, while she’s by herself now that her kids have also moved out. The siblings ultimately share a lovely moment, promising to be in each other’s lives more. Doreen also makes up with Mike at the end. Does this mean McCarthy will infrequently appear in OMITB? TBD. But I appreciate how “Valley Of The Dolls” inevitably gives insight into Charles’ personality ticks, like why he’s a stickler or has a tough time letting go of things. 

Mabel’s time cooped up at Doreen’s isn’t great in comparison to Charles and Oliver. She’s solely invested in solving the case at the moment, and her only assistance comes from Eugene, Zach, and Eva. They want to use their observation skills as actors to parse through the evidence at hand. Initially reluctant, Mabel allows them to take over after they witness Bev’s breakdown over the film being in danger and correctly point out that she’s “a middle child, a single mother, and has high thyroid.” 

By the end of “Valley Of The Dolls,” Eva, Zach, and Eugene make a murder wall and declare their findings: Charles, Mabel, and Oliver have been targets since season one! The actors point out plot holes of the past, like who left the note on Jan’s wall and who poisoned Oliver’s dog Winnie. It’s small stuff that the OMITB trio has let slide, but in the grand scheme of things, when pieced together, it’s clear that a killer has been stalking them for a long time. Sazz seemingly figured this out as well, which explains the notes on her desk in the premiere. This is probably what she wanted to talk to Charles about the night she died. How did Sazz even get involved in all of this? We’ll find out soon, but I’m just glad that Hulu’s comedy has thankfully upped its stakes and is going full circle back to season one.  

Stray observations

• • Charles: “I need to tell you something about Doreen. I don’t like saying this about my flesh and blood, but she can be very spontaneous.”
  Mabel: “Ooh, sick burn.” 
• • Mabel’s frustration is extra palpable in this episode. I love it when she tells Eva, Zach, and Eugene to “run lines, have Ozempic, or do whatever it is that actors do.” 
• • Eva says the OMITB trio is contractually responsible for the actors’ safety. What kind of a ridiculous contract is this? 
• • Loretta: “Actors are investigators of the human condition.”
  Mabel: “L.A. did this to you in two weeks?” 
• • Doreen tells Charles that the OMITB trio has managed to make a true-crime podcast feel cozy, succinctly capturing the show’s vibe. 
• • Please tell me no one is surprised about the Westies cashing Dudenoff’s social security checks. The real twist would’ve been the Brothers sisters doing it. 
• • Oliver: “I thought I wanted the Vernon to my Fosse, the Fleetwood to my Mac. Maybe what I really want is someone I can hold and adore.”
  Doreen: “Like a doll.” 
• • Another reason the Haden-Savage siblings don’t get along is that when they were kids, Charles pushed Doreen off a swing, causing her to lose her spleen at age three. Talk about a bizarre backstory. 
• • This episode’s narrator is Doreen’s husband, Big Mike, who is a cop. Wouldn’t this have been helpful information for Charles to give a long time ago?
• • Let’s talk about Bev. She spends the entire time at Doreen’s getting drunk and yelling at everyone, including the Paramount studio head over the phone. She reiterates she’s passionate about movies and that’s why she can’t afford to let this OMITB film slide, even if a murderer is on the set. And she continues to be at the top of my suspect list along with Marshall.