The good folks over at Variety report that Oprah Winfrey, the most beloved figure in the history of the universe, is set to produce a sexy pilot written by Secretary scribe Erin Cressida Wilson for HBO. The show will follow the travails of a woman who spontaneously decides to abandon her husband and children for what the article hyperbolically describes as "the seamy underbelly of L.A, where she indulges her secret fantasies and desires." You know what that means; anal, money shots, daisy chains and many more kinky sex acts too depraved to describe here.
We would like to wish Oprah the best on her perverted new show but now that she's leaving Chicago she's dead to us. Buy yourself a coffin and a pretty dress, O, cause to us you are deceased. Yet we remain, as always, cautiously optimistic.