The Spirit Of Christmas, the animated short subject that was eventually spun off into South Park, pitted Jesus Christ against Santa Claus and was four minutes long. Orgazmo, South Park co-creator Trey Parker's NC-17 bid for instant-cult-classic status, takes a similarly crude premise—a Mormon takes on the porn industry—and tries to stretch precious little material into a feature-length movie. Though the results are wittier than the "USA Up All Night" fodder it gleefully emulates, Orgazmo cries out for the punchy, minimalist charm of the animated series. The affable Parker plays a straitlaced Mormon missionary whose kung-fu skills impress a mob-connected porn director (Michael Dean Jacobs). Desperate for enough money to wed his toothy fiancée (Robyn Raab), Parker reluctantly agrees to take on the role of Captain Orgazmo, a superhero who rescues starlets from danger with the help of his instant-gratification-inducing Orgazmorator. When the movie becomes an unexpected box-office smash, falling just behind E.T. on the all-time list, he has trouble keeping his sins from his wife-to-be. Orgazmo does what it can to shock, but arriving on the heels of a summer loaded with gross-out comedies (including Parker and partner Matt Stone's disappointing BASEketball), it seems awfully tepid. In fact, with its smug, self-referential humor, irritating wah-wah-guitar soundtrack, and lifeless performances by real-life XXX stars (including unctuous auto-fellatio legend Ron Jeremy), the film too closely resembles what it's attempting to spoof—minus the obvious payoffs, of course.