Palm Royale recap: Get to it already

This show is supposed to be funny, right? You don’t cast a veritable all-star team of comedic actors if you aren’t hoping to supply the laughs. And yet…I don’t find myself laughing a lot while watching Palm Royale. I am occasionally mildly amused, but I don’t think that’s what they’re going for.

We open with a flashback to 1949. Norma (Carol Burnett—nice to see her awake) is hosting a wedding at her mansion. Maxine’s (Kristen Wiig) voiceover says, “An untold secret is like a loaded gun. You never know when it will go off. Or who it might hit.” On cue, a gunshot rings out in the background, but then we cut to our present story timeline in 1969.

On that note, why is this show set in 1969? Sure, the costuming is delicious, but it’s not that committed to period accuracy! You can’t tell me rich women in Palm Beach don’t wear things that are similar enough today. The writing, too, betrays modern sensibilities. At one point in this episode, Maxine tells Evelyn (Allison Janney), “She’s been quite clear she identifies as ‘Linda,’” which is just not 1960s language, I’m sorry.

Maxine is understandably stressed about the secrets she’s carrying around. She’s pawned thousands of dollars worth of Norma’s jewelry, written several bad checks, and has found out that her husband is disinherited from Norma’s estate. She knows she should confess to her husband, Douglas (Josh Lucas), but he’s having a hell of a time lounging by the pool, quitting his pilot job and talking about all the money he’s about to inherit. Maxine decides to try to fix things before letting him in on their precarious situation.

So step one: find the key to Norma’s security deposit box so that she and Evelyn can get their hands on the rolodex she uses to send out invites for the Beach Ball. This feels arbitrary! If it’s a legendary party, and the shiny sheet has announced Maxine is hosting it, won’t the important people come? But we’ll learn this rolodex isn’t just a fancy address book; it’s Norma’s record of people’s secrets.

In the episode’s funniest scene, Evelyn also roots around Norma’s room at the care facility to try to find the key. Upon realizing Norma can hear her, Evelyn tells her to blink once for yes, two for no. But when asked if they key is in the room, she blinks three times. “Norma, stop fucking with me! This is serious!”

Two people do know where the rolodex is: Robert (Ricky Martin) and Linda (Laura Dern). Linda stole it from Robert’s (Norma’s) pool house, but he suspects Maxine. “Have you been in the pool house?” he demands when he notices it’s missing. “Why would I go in the pool house when I have the real house?”

In retaliation, he files to become Norma’s conservator, and Maxine is summoned to probate court. Why was Douglas, her actual nephew, not summoned? Who knows! Logic is not important in this world! In court, Robert accuses her of gold digging, Maxine accuses him of elder abuse, and the judge says someone needs to bring him some evidence before he can rule on who has control of Norma’s estate. “Please clarify,” Maxine says, and then thinks to add, “I’m just a wife.” The judge makes it clear: “He who is the nurse gets the purse.”

Suddenly, Maxine’s path is clear to her. If she is granted conservatorship, she and Douglas can access Norma’s accounts and use the money to their hearts’ content, so long as they keep Norma alive but comatose.

When Maxine asks Robert if he knows where the rolodex is, he realizes she didn’t steal it. He confronts Linda at the care facility, and she admits that the rolodex has a secret about her and she plans to destroy it. Robert is fine with this for some reason, and Linda invites him in to meet her dying dad, played by Bruce Dern(!). Their entire conversation about the pointlessness of war seems completely disconnected from anything else happening in the story, but hopefully Palm Royale isn’t going to waste a perfectly good Bruce Dern too.

It’s time for Raquel’s (Claudia Ferri) big party, themed Havana Nights—or, as Evelyn describes it, “Have you ever seen such a tacky shit parade in your life?” Raquel’s husband is a mobster, freshly out of prison, and Evelyn can’t stand the rise of the common criminal in her lily-white 1960s world. “I’ve got nothing left to cement my standing in this town. Except the Beach Ball.”

A lot is going on at this party, which is a whirl of dancing and competing interests and tracking camera shots. Robert is here as the bartender (is there no other bartender in the whole town?), but he also has plenty of time to get out behind the bar to trade barbs with Maxine. They notice that Raquel is wearing Norma’s ruby necklace that Maxine pawned, which Robert sees an opportunity to gain proof for the judge that Maxine is just using Norma for her money. They both try to get the necklace off Raquel, but Robert is victorious. He holds it up tauntingly, to which I wrote in my notes: “So what?” The physical necklace proves nothing?

Maxine, not one to take the loss lying down, calls the police on him and reports that Robert has stolen the necklace, landing him in jail and her in the conservatorship. The only catch is that they have to care for Norma at home, a proposition that weirds out Douglas, until Maxine spells it out for him: “I can pay us a salary commensurate with her level of care.” She breaks the news that he’s been disinherited, but all that money cushions the blow.

On a chain around Norma’s neck, Maxine also finally finds the key to the safety deposit box, which she and Evelyn go to open. Of course, the rolodex isn’t there. But once Evelyn has stormed away, Maxine realizes the box is hiding a gun and an invitation to the wedding of Penelope Rollins (Linda’s former name) and…

We don’t know for sure, but the way Maxine tears back to the mansion screaming, “Douglas Darbe Dellacorte Simmons,” it seems pretty likely Linda was once going to marry Maxine’s husband.

Except a gun went off at that wedding, remember? And as Linda files through Norma’s rolodex, she comes across her card, which reads: “Penelope Rollins, a.k.a. Linda Shaw—attempted murder.” Things are starting to get interesting, but it’s taking too damn long.

Stray observations

• Sometimes Kristen Wiig is just doing her Kristen Wiig thing in a way that feels out of character with Maxine. “Good morrow” was one of those moments.
• Linda directs Robert to the “gay studies” aisle of her bookstore, which the show treats like a reveal, but we’ve been watching Ricky Martin parade around shirtless for whole episodes now?
• Raquel also tells Robert he’ll need a new sponsor once Norma dies, which doesn’t make sense. He’s not a member at the club; he’s an employee.
• Norma comes to at the end of the episode, trying to get something out that sounds awfully like the first syllable of Robert’s name.

Palm Royale is available to stream now on Apple TV+.