Paparazzi

Crimes

• Showing paparazzi to be not just nuisances, but also drug dealers, rapists, and drunks (shockingly, the DVD's deleted scenes don't include any excised footage of its camera-toting heavies clubbing baby seals and strangling nuns)
• Featuring lines like "Laramie, I'm going to destroy your life and eat your soul, and I can't wait to do it"
• Boldly coming out against freedom of the press, and in favor of cold-blooded murder and bloody revenge
• Defender
  Director Paul Abascal, who was once Mel Gibson's hair stylist
• Tone Of Commentary
  Agonizingly dull. Paparazzi boasts one of those dreary, interminable commentaries in which the director waxes about lenses, lighting, production schedules, and filming locations, and avoids discussing anything remotely interesting. The only mildly compelling revelation is that Abascal researched paparazzi to prepare for the film, though his subjects probably wouldn't have acquiesced if they'd realized they'd be depicted about as affectionately as the orcs in The Lord Of The Rings.
• What Went Wrong
  The ratings boards apparently told Abascal he could use either "prick" or "fuck" once and still have a PG-13 rating, but not both. Needless to say, two or three more instances of "prick" or "fuck" would easily have transformed the film into an enduring classic.
• Comments On The Cast
  Star Cole Hauser apparently wanted a muscle car, and he had to do a lot of running on the last day of shooting. Antagonist Tom Sizemore "aced" his role, even though he finalized his deal the night before he began shooting. He also apparently ad-libbed the "destroy your life and eat your soul" line. Hopefully he's prepared for the deluge of screenwriting offers that are sure to arrive once that information leaks out.
• Inevitable Dash Of Pretension
  Abascal hilariously claims that he still wakes up in a cold sweat when he thinks about the compromises he had to make on Paparazzi.
• Commentary In A Nutshell
  Abascal relays that he was forced to cut a scene in which "hero" Cole Hauser cold-bloodedly beats Daniel Baldwin to death with a baseball bat, after preview audiences somehow found that it made Hauser's character less "sympathetic."