Paula Deen joins Dancing With The Stars, hopefully won’t say anything

It’s been a few months since Paula Deen last did something offensive and stupid (that we know about), so now ABC is dipping its toe into the proverbial butter and asking America if it’s once again ready to love Paula Deen and her personal brand of good old-fashioned, home-spun folksiness. According to Variety, the network has tapped her to join season 21 of Dancing With The Stars, presumably after weighing the cost of her saying something stupid against how excited people will be to hear her say something stupid, much like how one would weigh the cost of eating a delicious gravy-filled pie against how sick it’ll make them afterwards. Like many of us, ABC has decided to eat that pie.

Joining Deen on Dancing With The Stars will be Nick Carter of The Backstreet Boys, “Triple Crown-winning jockey” Victor Espinoza (even though we’re pretty sure the horse won the Triple Crown, Espinoza just hung on and got paid better), and Bindi Irwin, the daughter of Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin. Interestingly, the official Dancing Twitter account has made a big deal about Carter and Espinoza, but hasn’t said much about Paula Deen. It’s almost like it’s ashamed of her or something, but that can’t possibly be the case. She hasn’t done anything racist in months, guys. Months!

 
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