Pauly Shore would like to sell you some "poly(ester)" shorts with little Pauly Shores on them

We live in the ideal era for a full fledged Pauly Shorenaissance. In an age of TikTok and Twitter-driven quick-hit comedy and fast-expiring ’90s nostalgia, an aging Shore posting clips of himself wheezing the juice at convenience stores or hanging upside down and freaking out middle-aged squares seems like a recipe for success. And yet, Shore’s continued pop culture influence has been confined to really bad movies, Cameo appearances, a quarantine workout series called “Sweatin With The Wiez,” and, now, a merch line featuring shorts covered in little Pauly Shore faces.

Made in collaboration with Ain’tNobodyCool, the line consists of a t-shirt and hoodie with the same design—a black and white photo of a vintage Shore—and the so-called Pauly Shore Poly(ester) Shorts. This last item gives buyers the ability, at long last, to walk around wearing dozens of images of Shore’s face on their bodies, proclaiming how much they appreciate sophisticated classic comedy to all onlookers. (There’s also a “Pauly Shore rolling tray” in the collection, which will surely scandalize those who thought Crawl from Son In Law just had a bad case of the giggles.)

In a video promoting the line, Shore walks around his house wearing a hoodie and shorts covered in his own face, crawls into his dog’s kennel, and sings about how “crusty” he is in different pictures of himself to the tune of The Brady Bunch theme song. Ain’tNobodyCool’s founders, for their part, sit wearing Shore cosplay and talk about how the best way “to do Paulie Shore justice” is to put lots of “pictures of Paulie Shore” on a single piece of clothing.

This is all well and good, but if a clothing company really wants to help get Pauly Shore back into the spotlight, we suggest forgoing these kind of items and just getting his expertise in selling a line of mesh tank-tops, jean vests, and flowing silk headbands.

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