For years, Playboy TV has occupied an uncomfortable middle ground in the real of televised pornography—not raunchy enough to satisfy viewers inured to all manner of double-penetration and water sports by the Internet, yet not so sophisticated and classy that you’d want it showing up on your cable bill (which the women usually pay, according to industry research). So what’s the next step? Getting the ladies involved, of course, which is the conclusion Playboy reached after spending nearly a year conducting what must have been some of the most awkward focus groups ever.
In that time, programming executives learned that women are cool with pornography so long as it had “real chemistry, non-enhanced body parts, varied body shapes and ‘contextualized’ sex”—i.e., they wanted the “the romance to flow organically from the story and not pop up in a forced fashion.” And since that describes no pornography, ever, Playboy instead decided to create a “Nick At Nite”-style programming block (seriously; they are referencing “Nick At Nite”) called “TV For 2,” which is where you and your lady get together to watch sophisitimicated couples-oriented fare with an overall emphasis on “intimacy.” Over the next few months, Playboy TV will add six difficult-to-masturbate-to programs like Brooklyn Kinda Love, which follows four real-life couples as they intimately deal with intimacy, and another new show involving “monogamous couples receiving advice on how to achieve greater intimacy.” Hot, therapeutic stuff.
This new intimate intimacy is intended to make men feel okay with intimately involving their partner in their Playboy-watching, which is still the overall goal, according to senior vice-president Gary Rosenson: “Guys will always be satisfied with Playboy,” he said, “but I’m pretty sure a lot of guys would rather be watching with their partner by their side.” Definitely, because what guy doesn’t tune into the Playboy channel thinking, “Jerking off to this poorly scripted porno featuring women with body-distorting boob jobs is grimly satisfying, but it’s nothing compared to the satisfaction I would receive from having a frank discussion my problems with intimacy with my wife”? Anyway, this should definitely help Hef save the mansion.