Since Game Of Thrones has a monopoly on the whole “winter” thing, the show’s official Twitter account just released some interactive season six promo videos tied to the blizzard that’s supposed to hit the East Coast this weekend. The Game Of Thrones Twitter account has asked its followers to tweet their support for either #HouseStark, #HouseLannister, or #HouseTargaryen—sorry, Tullys—to get access to a themed video. Since we at The A.V. Club are all about unbiased reporting, we’ve collected all three videos here, house allegiances be damned.
Though the hashtags are meant to invoke ancestral pride, all three videos look pretty grim for their respective families. They each feature a ripped house flag blowing in the breeze as an antagonist intones something ominous in voiceover. In the Stark video, evil gollum Ramsay Bolton—the guy who upset Theon by marrying and raping Sansa Stark—announces, “Winterfell is mine.”
In the Lannister video, Jonathan Pryce’s High Sparrow explains, “Every one of us is poor and powerless, and yet together we can overthrow an empire.”
And finally the Targaryen-themed video features a Dothraki warrior stating (in subtitled Dothraki), “You are nobody, the millionth of your name, queen of nothing,” implying that the khalasar Daenerys stumbled upon in the season finale isn’t going to take kindly to her.
In other words: Things don’t seem to be going well for any of Game Of Thrones’ protagonists, which is pretty much business as usual in Westeros. Interestingly, the videos make no mention of the presumed-dead Jon Snow, whose bloody face took center stage on the season six poster. Instead, Game Of Thrones is spreading the wealth between all of its miserable characters before the show returns to HBO on April 10.