We can now add “Beating the ever-loving crap out of murderclowns” to the things that can get a person a star on Hollywood’s well-known Walk Of Fame. The Hollywood Chamber Of Commerce announced that popular vigilante The Batman will be among the recipients of a new star next year at the popular tourist attraction, among a whole bunch of other also-famous folks, including Julia Roberts, Spike Lee, Chris Hemsworth, Wendy Williams, and more.
Batman is being inducted into the Walk’s “class of 2020” in the film category, presumably owing to the numerous popular documentaries that have been made about his various punch-heavy antics. He shares the category with people like Laurence Fishburne, Octavia Spencer, Mahershala Ali, Ruth E. Carter, and Lina Wertmüller, relatively few of whom appear to share his interest in high-tech vigilantism. (Presumably.) Fellow Walk-of-Famer Vanessa Williams announced the names today, bringing to the task a whole lot of real “Hey, this is the first time I’m reading this” energy:
And look: We know that the Hollywood Walk Of Fame is bullshit; fucking Lassie’s got a star on there, and you can’t tell us that the poor dog knew what the hell that meant, no matter how smart she actually was. (Ditto Ronald Reagan on that one, now that we think about it.) Recently, there was even a popular uproar to get Carrie Fisher a star, an effort that largely ignored the fact that Carrie Fisher was probably too savvy to pony up $50,000 to have tourists spill ShakeShack ice cream on her name 365 days out of the year. These days, the Walk mostly exists as an excuse to have celebrities show up and do extremely weird stuff at each other’s induction ceremonies, whether that’s Jeff Bridges resurrecting The Dude, or Matthew McConaughey waxing poetic on Guy Fieri.
Still, congratulations are in order to Roberts, Lee, 50 Cent, Man, and all the other recipients of this year’s slate of stars. The upkeep for the Dark Knight’s own emblem will presumably be paid for by his corporate owners over at Warner Bros.; reports that the bill was being footed by popular Gotham City orphan industrialist Bruce Wayne remain apocryphal at bats. Best. Apocryphal at best.