Giving the same sneering “screw you” to jobs and the economy that he regularly delivers toward political opponents and the concept of not eating ribs, Kevin Spacey’s Frank Underwood has issued a pardon to anybody who blows off work tomorrow to binge his show. In the latest of many cute-bordering-on-obnoxious promotional pushes for its rapidly returning House Of Cards, Netflix has issued faux-presidential pardon cards that excuse fans from “March 4, 2016,”—the show’s upcoming premiere—“until whenever they finish Season Four.”
And while it might be tough to convince your boss to accept the cards—even with the looming threat of sinister Underwoodian threat-drawling like, “To those who wish to defy me, I have zero tolerance for betrayal, which they will soon indelibly learn”—it might be worth a shot if you’re a big fan of Netflix’s gaudily enjoyable political soap. In any case, having stumbled onto the only political issue likely to unite a divided America any time soon, expect to see House Of Cards’ next season deal heavily with Underwood’s new role as President Of America For Life.