So, not to brag, but remember last week how I said that Jillian was poised for villainy? Well, I was kind of right. In tonight's episode she wasn't a full-on villain—not yet. But she did dip her toes into the evil, annoying water by alternately badgering and whispering about poor I'm-The-Only-Straight-Guy-Here Kevin because he wasn't making her high-waisted denim shorts fast enough. Mark my words: she's terrible and she will only get more so.
I think one of the reasons that I have a burning hatred for Jillian is that she clearly designs clothes just for her. (In the first challenge, she even styled her model to look exactly like her, which is part egomaniacal, part creepy.) That would be fine, if her personal, culotte-and-jumpsuit-heavy style wasn't so incredibly irritating. Looking at her is akin to having poison oak in your eyes.
And the collection that she and Rami and Kevin put together may have been the most cohesive, which is why it won, but it was also the collection that looked the most like the uniforms for a chain of country-and-western themed restaurants, called maybe Hatfield McCoys or The Chow Wagon. The hostesses would wear Rami's denim party dress, the bartenders would wear Kevin's hot-pants, and the unfortunate waitresses would wear Jillian's disco overalls. (I can almost picture her refilling coleslaw dishes in those overalls, can't you?)
Still, all of the collections that the designers put together this episode were kind of hideous in their own special ways, which is to be expected. It's no doubt very difficult to make three attractive pieces from three hideous trends displayed on posterboard. Though, despite the fact that Christian's ultra annoyingness ("Team star. Like hot. Like celebrity.") was probably stitched into every seam, the collection he made with Kit and Jack was my favorite. It definitely looked the most modern, even if it did kind of look like a haberdashery exploded inside Forever 21.
Still, that's far, far better than whatever Ricky's team was going for. Granted, putting neon, cut-outs, and underwear together in an attractive, modern way is almost an impossible task, but their outfits were all basically stained glass windows you could wear to prom. Also, satin should be outlawed outside of weddings. Ricky's was especially terrible—even the model looked pissed to be wearing it, but who can blame her? No one wants to wear fruit salad in satin strapless dress form.
Of course, the judges want to see how many episodes in a row Ricky can cry in, so they kept him and got rid of Fat Chris instead. They said it was because of his terrible jacket, but the real reason was that they found his Hawaiian shirts more aesthetically offensive than Ricky's endless parade of stupid, occasionally see-through hats. (They're wrong about that, too.)
Grade: B+
Stray Observations:
—Did you notice Fat Chris's sketching with an orange marker? His sketches look like a 5-year-old's. I'm going to miss him. Kit and Kevin are officially my favorites now.
—Steven's awful, boring Tim Gunn impression: a squinty gay earthworm will never pass for a gay slug.
—This episode was, thankfully, short on Elisa, but what was she wearing on the runway? It looked like she got in a knife fight after taking an aerobics class in 1985. Also, she probably peed on that outfit to imbue it with essence.
—Is anyone else sick of the messages the designers write on the chalk boards? The girls' said. "P.M.A. Positive Mental Attitude." Why? That's unclear.