In a scene that we desperately hope manages to make its way into season 70 or so of The Crown, Queen Elizabeth II of the U.K. will celebrate her 92nd birthday this year in the company of family, friends, and Shaggy. The “Angel” singer is one of several acts who have been scheduled for the queen’s upcoming birthday party at London’s Albert Hall, creating the very real possibility that the reining monarch might be asked to “Picture this: We were both buck naked, bangin’ on the bathroom floor,” which seems like it would be a pretty interesting, if taxing, demand on her aging powers of imagination.
Shaggy is, presumably, on the bill because of his recent collaborations with Sting, with the duo touring together and releasing a new album, 44/876, earlier this week. Ol’ Gordon is one of several other performers playing the Saturday night show, sitting somewhere in between Kylie Minogue and Tom Jones in our strictly hypothetical rankings of how much we think the queen digs each performer’s music. (We have to assume Tom Jones is top-tier queen-pleasing music, right?) Meanwhile, we have honestly no idea where to place singer/rapper Craig David or jazz-pop crooner Jamie Cullum on that particular mental list.
Today, April 21, is the queen’s real birthday; she also gets a second, “official” one with parades and stuff in June, because that is how it works when you’re the queen: two fucking birthdays, and all the Shaggy you could want.