For such a prolific novelist with such a devoted following, Anne Rice has inspired few cinematic adaptations. A surreal piece of silliness that seems designed primarily to inspire future generations of drag queens, Queen Of The Damned illustrates why the dearth of Rice-related films might be good for the author and audiences alike. A sequel of sorts to Neil Jordan's infinitely superior Interview With The Vampire, Queen Of The Damned stars Stuart Townsend as a fashionably undead bloodsucker who tires of solitude and anonymity and decides to become the world's first openly undead rock star. The concept of vampire-as-rocker suggests satirical possibilities, and for its first 10 minutes or so, Queen flirts with the idea of offering a deadpan satire of the gloomy posturing that's home to vampire mythology and the rock world alike. Unfortunately, director Michael Rymer decides to play the rest of the film straight, sending the perpetually leather-pants-clad Townsend to England, where he pursues non-vampire love interest Marguerite Moreau, a devoted student of the supernatural whose zombie-like performance suggests Mary-Louise Parker following a full-frontal lobotomy. The course of love seldom runs smoothly for the undead and the affect-impaired, however, and when Townsend arranges a huge live concert in Death Valley, his fellow vampires, angry at him for breaking their vaunted code of silence, threaten to destroy him. Lurking in the background, meanwhile, is the film's eponymous monarch of the undead (Aaliyah), a literally bloodthirsty ancient Egyptian queen with a predilection for leaving thousands of corpses in her wake. Intrigued by Townsend's good looks and ubiquitous MTV presence, Aaliyah sets out to make him her king, leading up to a martial-arts-heavy setpiece that couldn't be any sillier if the Easter Bunny, E.T., and the ghost of Bruce Lee all popped up as members of Townsend's posse. Though Aaliyah received star billing, her role amounts to little more than a cameo, and while she makes for a striking visual presence, she delivers an unintentionally hilarious performance. (Admittedly, it's doubtful that anyone could redeem a role that involves flying into a rock concert where vampires are kung-fu fighting in front of a mosh pit of the damned.) Queen Of The Damned ends with a dedication to the late Aaliyah, but a far more respectful way to honor the singer's memory would have involved keeping her embarrassing final film from seeing the harsh light of day.