There was a time when the talking Quiznos toaster would seduce you. When you were alone, just watching TV, he'd glow on screen, purring in low tones about how hot he is for your toasty torpedo. It was creepy, yes, but how else are you going to sell a two-foot long phallus-shaped sandwich? Obviously with some weird, aiming-for-humorous homoeroticism. That's what Don Draper would do, and he has a box conveniently filled with all his secrets in his desk drawer.
Now, however, the talking Quiznos toaster doesn't bother to seduce you. He just shows you some dirty naked rednecks taking a bath together, and tells you, "That looks hot. But not as hot as Quiznos double-cheese cheesesteak." But what if you don't find the hillbilly hottub action hot? What then, Quiznos talking toaster?
(via AdFreak)
So the Quiznos toaster has gone from a bit of a gay predator to a thoroughly creepy gay voyeur who is turned on by nude rednecks sharing baths. Good to know. They should change their slogan to "Mmm…redneck bathwater!" Or "Mmmm…lame gay (and redneck) jokes made by a weird oven!"