This weekend’s arrest of actor Randy Quaid and wife Evi may have struck fear into the hearts of property owners everywhere, but Quaid tells TMZ he had a perfectly reasonable explanation for why he and his wife were accused of squatting: He’s the victim of an elaborate conspiracy involving forged signatures and dead people, stemming from when someone signed the name of a deceased woman named Ronda Quaid on a legal document in 1992, which wrongfully transferred the property to a third party.
Cameras caught up with Randy and a perfectly sane-looking Evi wearing a cowboy hat and sheriff’s badge, with the Quaids blasting the Santa Barbara police for not being “real estate attorneys” and promising they would stick up for what’s theirs. As to why the couple decided to suddenly return to their house after a nearly two-decade absence, Evi said it had to do with watering the neglected oak trees, hanging a portrait over the fireplace, and preventing the new, illegitimate owners from “burning the place down,” which she believed was their most imminent intention. Reassuringly, Quaid promises to take this to the courts, where we’re certain this whole thing will be resolved as just one big misunderstanding, and by no means the latest chapter in a deeply sad shared delusion.