Charles Dickens' drably lacking-in-caffeine-fueled-extreme-sports-action novel Oliver Twist will finally receive a Red Bull-sponsored makeover as a 3-D film about parkour, due to the bureaucratic difficulties in exhuming Charles Dickens' remains, affixing them with oversized novelty sunglasses, and sending them careening through Trafalgar Square on a skateboard. A far more actionable solution has been found in simply taking Dickens' immortal 19th-century tale and transforming it into Twist, a modern-day story about the Fagin Gang and the daring art thefts they undertake by elaborately jumping over obstacles, which—much like Taylor Lautner's own recently announced parkour film—will appeal to today's parkour-obsessed audiences of 2004, effortlessly vaulting over Dickens' tiresomely dated social critique then landing with a sweet somersault. Twist will accomplish all of this with the backing of producer Red Bull, the energy drink that gives you both wings and ideas on how to improve classic literature.
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