Reggie White is arguably the greatest defensive end in the history of football. Reggie White also bankrolled, produced, and starred in this uplifting cinematic message of Christian love and hope. Sadly, Reggie White is not a Renaissance man. In Reggie's Prayer, White plays a football star who feels a calling to retire from the NFL and take a coaching position at a high school in Portland, where principal Pat Morita encourages him to help the kids and fight drugs in the community. As a modern religious parable, its quality is not easily calculable; as a cultural artifact, it's far, far worse than both of ex-quarterback Terry Bradshaw's gospel records combined. Of course, White—an ordained minister, outspoken proponent of racial harmony, and acknowledged role model—has probably done more good in his lifetime than most. He should be allowed to create the most well-intended, unwittingly drop-dead hilarious film this decade is likely to see. There are tons of poorly acted cameos by White's NFL buddies, Pat Morita gets to use his Mr. Miyagi karate, and there's a crippled-kid-rising-from-his-wheelchair scene that's even better than the one in ¡Viva Kneivel! The Evel Kneivel Story. You can't help but shake your head at the well-meaning horror of it all. Many scenes are just plain pants-wetting funny: Even the most devout Christians will politely hide their smiles when God sends Reggie a vision of Rev. White cradling a (presumably lost) sheep—yes, a sheep!—in his tree-trunk arms while beseeching Heaven, "Whaddya want from me, God?"