Resident Evil, Underworld, and Mortal Instruments all becoming TV shows

Rather than releasing a new Underworld and Resident Evil movie every other month, factory production of movies where women in bodysuits fight monsters has apparently become so streamlined, it can now be accomplished on a weekly basis. Over the weekend, it was revealed that both franchises are in the works as television series, which will finally allow them to address the many storylines that could not be covered in their nine collective films so far. It will also lead to the extinction of the cow, thanks to the increased demands for leather.

For Underworld, a TV version is just one of several plans to expand a series that’s been so narrowly confined to four films and a spinoff/reboot, which will reportedly focus on Theo James’ character from Underworld: Awakening. And now director Len Wiseman tells IGN that in addition to both of those, another sequel is in the works starring his wife, Kate Beckinsale—whose obligation to put on the catsuit and spin around for him is like a supernatural play on A Doll’s House we all get to watch. She will supposedly dance the vampire-werewolf tarantella for him at least one more time.

For Resident Evil, a TV show would follow the sixth and final film, which Paul W.S. Anderson is supposed to direct for his own wife/monster bait, Milla Jovovich, in 2015. And it’s part of an overall strategy from production company Constantin Films to make TV series out of its movie properties—a strategy that includes Mortal Instruments, whose own recent bid to launch another young-adult franchise fizzled when production on a sequel to City Of Bones was shut down. But now Mortal Instruments, Resident Evil, and Underworld can all endure on TV, where their individual stories of women fighting supernatural CGI can become even more of an indiscernible blur.

 
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