Return To Savage Beach
There's something almost touching about the films of Andy Sidaris (The Dallas Connection), a director whose straight-to-video releases seem as thoughtfully designed for his target audience as the work of a maker of custom auto parts. Return To Savage Beach is another installment in the ongoing adventures of the L.E.T.H.A.L. Force (Legion to Ensure Total Harmony And Law), which is what the video box describes as "a top secret government agency comprised of the world's most attractive and deadly men and women." In this installment, L.E.T.H.A.L.—whose upper ranks so disproportionately comprise former Playboy and Penthouse models that the organization's hiring practices ought to be investigated—must track down a valuable gold Buddha whose belly contains a stash of diamonds. In the process, they jet-ski, engage in gratuitous nudity, fight some ninjas, go skinny-dipping, employ toy cars and explosive-tipped arrows as weapons, have sex in a swimming pool, and learn that not all friendly pizza-delivery people are what they first seem to be. While much of Return To Savage Beach is played with tongue almost in cheek, that doesn't stop it from growing old after a while, despite the fact that it would be difficult to find a film with a higher explosion-to-surgically enhanced breast ratio. On the other hand, fans of WCW star Marcus "Buff" Bagwell won't want to miss his performance, and it's amusing to watch a former centerfold try, and fail, to act as if she knows which end of a floppy disk you're supposed to insert in a computer.