Returns diminish as Syfy greenlights Sharknado 5

Variety reports that Syfy has given a greenlight to the fifth film in its endlessly self-aware Sharknado saga, ensuring that Ian Ziering and Tara Reid will once again be chumming the waters of their careers with the tiniest possible amount of fresh blood. Following in the national-scale footsteps of Sharknado: The 4th Awakens, the latest installment will go international with its shark-storm carnage; if anyone wants to wager on whether a shark will end up knocking over the Leaning Tower of Pisa or impaling itself on the Eiffel Tower, we’ll be happy to take that bet.

But the most tragic thing about a fifth Sharknado movie—besides remembering a more innocent time, when the series’ winking stupidity was kind of refreshing, instead of deeply tiring in our cartilaginous bones—occurred behind the scenes. Rest assured, Anthony C. Ferrante is returning to direct his fifth Sharknado film. But for the first time ever, he won’t be joined by screenwriter Thunder Levin. Instead, Scotty Mullen will pen the screenplay, denying Sharknado fans a chance to see the name “Thunder Levin” in the credits, which is a shame, because it’s a very funny name.

 
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