Rising number of fistfights on Hollywood sets prompts warning about not doing that

The gleam of the golden age of Hollywood has grown ever more distant and dim, with the announcement that there will be newer, stricter rules on Teamsters fist-fighting—a tradition that, along with torturing animals, ruining children, and rampant amphetamine abuse has long been the engine oil of the Dream Factory. Deadline alerts all who care about preserving old-fashioned filmmaking to a notice posted by Teamsters Local 399 Hollywood, which reports an “escalating number of incidences” in which its members have gotten into altercations with each other on set. Surprisingly, it does not congratulate them on increased productivity.

“It is my duty to say—Knock It Off!’ declares secretary-treasurer Steve Dayan, who apparently welcomes a world where real men and women putting their back into the work of creating movies, and their fist into the face of the nearest guy who looks at them funny, is no longer considered a vital part of the industry. Perhaps Steve Dayan would like all movies to just be created by fist-fighting computers from now on?

The notice goes on to warn its union members that any on-set altercation will lead to both parties being laid off immediately. But fortunately for those who still value the kind of moviemaking with soul—and the right to punch your way through someone’s rib cage to get to it—there is always the world of independent film, which continues to welcome unfettered voices that just sound like they’re asking for a good smack in the mouth.

 
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