Last night's Rock Of Love accomplished what I assumed was impossible this season: it got it together for once and pulled off a consistently entertaining episode. Honestly, I've bitched about Bret Version 2.0 as much and possibly more than anybody, and last night's installment answered pretty much every complaint. The challenge was actually engaging and funny for once. (With a computer problem, no less! Very intellectual, Rock Of Love.) We got to hear some of Bret's horrible, horrible new songs. (He's our freak show and our crazy train!) There were some great catfights, all of which were centered on Kristy Joe. Speaking of Kristy Joe, all the hatred directed her way was finally justified. (I think divorcing your husband over the phone so you're finally free to pursue love and Chlamydia with Bret Michaels on a reality show qualifies you for lifetime, all-consuming scorn, no?) Alas, the comeback might be short-lived. Kristy Joe, Rock's hateful muse, sent herself home, and who is left to carry on the drama? Destiney? I knew Kristy Joe, I cringed at Kristy Joe, and Destiney, you are no Kristy Joe.
Then again, it really was time for Kristy Joe (um, I mean, Krabby Joe) to leave. If not for her own good then for ours. You never know how the soulless producers of shows like these manipulate reality in the editing room, so it's possible Kristy Joe isn't quite the over-emotional psycho she's been made out to be. But after starting out the season as one of the more likeable and level-headed contestants, Kristy Joe ended up being that ex-girlfriend who seemed out of your league at first because she's so attractive, and then gradually revealed the monster under the nice exterior. (C'mon, she didn't even give Indian Gallagher the time of day. He's a noted Eastern healer! She truly is both freak show and crazy train.) Destiney, on the other hand, is upfront about her total lack of redeeming value. D and her weeping pack of jackals, Daisy and Jessica, were at their absolute meanest last night, and also (not coincidentally) at they're most pathetically insecure, as they tearfully begged Krabby to leave. Now that KJ finally has left, I think the pack will turn on Daisy next. I'm basing this on the preview for next week's episode, which implied that Daisy might not be there "for the right reasons" and in fact might still be in love with a Nikki Sixx wax figure from her past.
What I know for sure is that Ambre has now clearly separated herself as the most likeable contestant. Which makes me think she probably isn't very likeable because she's involved with Rock Of Love. It's funny how doing a reality TV show is like being good friends with a mafia hitman or Bobby Brown–it immediately makes you appear 10 times sleazier. Still, in a world of Destineys, the semi-classy woman is queen.
Grade: A-