Ruddy-faced steak salesman pronounces “billion” with 3 syllables
President Donald Trump has the best words, as he’s proven with the likes of “covfefe,” “bing,” and “mean.” So great are his words that he must say them as many times as possible, if only to expose the world to their brilliance. By this point, we all know how much he loves describing things as “tremendous,” and now it’s time to highlight his love for another word, one that’s intertwined with his monetary worth and, by extension, his self-worth. That word? “Billions.”
But here’s the thing: Donald Trump has not only the best words, but the best way of saying them as well. Remember that time he mispronounced “Nazis”? Surely that was purposeful, as purposeful as him saying “billions” with three syllables over and over and over again in the below video, which comes courtesy of Vice.
Careful, though. A mere 20 seconds into this two-minute video, Trump’s voice begins to take on an alien quality, as if what we’re hearing is not his voice but a bad dubbing of it. As the video goes on, Trump’s repetition of “billions” evolves: Sometimes it sounds as if he’s doing an accent, sometimes it’s as though he’s mid-song, and by video’s end you’d think he were on the verge of releasing a primal scream to the heavens.
By then, whatever meaning “billions” once held has been ground into the dirt. This is the sound of a man absolutely pummeling a word out of existence.
R.I.P. Billions. You will now only be referred to as a thousand millions.