There have been many attempts to translate the “shameless assholes with too much disposable income” formula of MTV’s Jersey Shore across cultural lines, but for every Geordie Shore that actually makes it to air, there are countless redneck, Russian, Canadian, and Korean knock-offs that remain purely hypothetical, thereby delaying our achievement of global harmony. Yet for all of their good intentions, these aborted failures have lacked the tempest in a teensy teacup that is Ryan Seacrest, whose success chronicling shameless assholes with too much disposable income on shows like Bromance and Here Is Yet Another Kardashian certainly bodes well for the prospects of getting his own Jersey Shore-like production, Shahs Of Sunset, on the air over at Bravo.
Promising to do for Persians (or Iranian-Americans, if you want to be like that about it) what Jersey Shore did for Italians, Shahs will follow a group of affluent, presumably “outrageous” young Iranians in Los Angeles who are described in the press release as “armed with chromed-out cars, logo-ridden purses and designer outfits, they've got it and they're not afraid to flaunt it.” We suppose by “it” they mean “the value of family and tradition,” which the show’s stars are also said to have.
If this sounds familiar (beyond the obvious reasons) it’s because last year, Jersey Shore’s own 495 Productions had the exact same idea when it attempted to launch The Persian Version, an announcement that was quickly met with condemnations and calls to boycott it before it even aired. But Seacrest is already taking pains to argue that Shahs Of Sunset is different in that it will focus on “rich characters and relatable storylines about everyday life—love, work, friendship and family,” just like everything else he’s put his name on so far. Anyway, given our seemingly bottomless zeal for watching wealthy entitled people of any ethnicity, he probably could have just stopped at “rich characters." But maybe that's being cynical. Who knows? With Seacrest's continued commitment to untangling the threads of our American tapestry, maybe Shahs could be the Persian rug that really ties the room together—the room being our nation. Then we can all get drunk and pass out on it.