Samsung follows “exploding phone” with a washer that could break your jaw

By William Hughes | November 4, 2016 | 7:14pm

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NBC News reports that South Korean appliance firm Samsung—recently embarrassed after it produced a cell phone with an unfortunate tendency to explode—has been forced to issue yet another recall notice. This time, it’s the company’s washing machines that present a potential danger to human health, with 34 models apparently so unbalanced that they carry a risk of ejecting parts out of themselves—the washing machine-equivalent of an angry, blood-spewing horned lizard—with a force apparently sufficient to break the human jaw.

“In rare cases, affected units may experience abnormal vibrations that could pose a risk of personal injury or property damage when washing bedding, bulky or water-resistant items,” the company said in an earlier press release about the problem. You can see the full list of recalled models here; meanwhile, keep an eye on your Samsung TV, lest it suddenly hurl itself off the wall at you, following the company’s secret dictates to destroy all life on Earth.