Her usefulness long eclipsed by bigger, louder, more orange demagogues, former vice presidential candidate, former governor of Alaska, and all-around quitter Sarah Palin is being sent to the proverbial farm upstate. Specifically, she’s being put on the judge’s bench, something that she would seem unqualified for, considering her complete lack of legal experience (she was a sportscaster before getting into local politics in 1992). But that’s not accounting for two things: One, being unqualified never stopped Sarah Palin from doing anything. And two, it’s just a fake judge’s bench for the teevee.
Yes, Palin is in the process of developing her own Judge Judy-style court show, with the assistance of Montana-based production company Warm Springs Productions. Variety is careful to note that while “Palin has not yet shot any footage or a pilot for the potential syndicated series,” Warm Springs is still shopping the idea around for a fall 2017 launch. And the idea pretty much sells itself: With her guileless affect and deep well of folksy sayings to draw from, Palin is the perfect person to moderate disputes among neighbors upset about whose rusted-out truck is parked on whose property. Not only that, but keeping Palin busy with petty arguments like these will prevent her from starting petty arguments on cable news, benefiting everyone. And who knows—maybe she could even be the one to dethrone Maury as daytime TV’s premiere provider of televised paternity testing. She does have some experience in that area…