If you're reading this because you didn't watch last night's SNL and want to know if you missed much, you can exhale now. The episode offered such half-hearted fare that I can't even summon feelings of irritated disappointment. It was just there.
I admit I wasn't expecting much to begin with: we haven't heard from Ryan Phillippe in a while, he most known for being Reese Witherspoon's evil ex-husband. I feel bad for Phillippe: I read way too much Hollywood gossip and get the impression that Witherspoon isn't the innocent peach she's often portrayed as yet he takes all the blame for the failure of that relationship. I thought it was amusing, meanwhile, that in the SNL tribute to the decade Witherspoon was lauded for hosting the first post-9/11 episode. Maybe Phillippe would go balls to the wall and surprise us all with a what-the-hell episode.
But no. Phillippe's the co-star in a movie based on a 90-second SNL sketch, and that's the kind of host and episode we got. His monologue featured a bunch of other SNL recurring characters asking when they'll get their own movies. It also marked the first time I didn't enjoy "What Up With That?" (granted, it was an abbreviated version). This segued into another variation of the ESPN Classic women's sports championships, a sketch that combines unfunniness with the increasingly irritating gag that vaginas are hilarious in their gross-weirdness. Fill 'em with semen and put a cork in 'em, amirite??? If you didn't like that, there was also a commercial about how the ladies in the Shake Weight ads look like they're giving handjobs (it's true, but the observation alone isn't funny.) The Hip Hop Kids sketch had a couple of funny lines in it ("For every baby bear, there's a way out of a cave") but it dragged on too long. "Teen Talk" came back, featuring Fred Armisen as the fill-in host who demands teens yell their embarrassing questions into a microphone louder so he can hear (the lone bright spot was Andy Samberg's ridiculous voice). We also saw a sketch called "I Got This!" the game show where people fight over the check, where absolutely nothing happened that wasn't already explained in the title and concept.
The spot that will inevitably be passed around Hulu is the "Magical Mysteries" video from the "Thrilla Killa Klownz," although I wasn't cracking up mostly because a.) the bit was buried at the end of the episode so I just wanted to go to bed and b.) I was wondering if SNL should get much credit for a near line-by-line parody of an Insane Clown Posse video that is already ridiculous and ironic. But better than nothing. The Digital Short too was amusing, playing on the concept of a man running back to an ex-lover's house to beg her to come back only to see some new guy in the background. You could see the gag coming a mile away but I liked the weird ending.