In an effort to evade those gangsters who are always trying to hunt him down for being too hardcore, Sean Combs has adopted the new alias “Swag,” hoping the ensuing confusion will buy him some modicum of safety. It’s the fifth or sixth name change he’s been forced to undergo since launching his career—depending on whether you count “Diddy” and “Diddy Dirty-Money” as separate entities or simple variations on the same—and with it comes the usual complications of setting up an all-new Twitter account as well as, presumably, filing yet another petition with his local courthouse.
The erstwhile Puff Daddy Puffy Puff P. Diddy King Combs Diddy Dirty-Money says he chose “Swag” as a way of honoring himself for his recent “comeback,” a return to self-promotion after several hours’ worth of unsettling silence; it’s short for “swagger,” of course, which is something that deodorants and Justin Bieber have. If you want to try saying it aloud, you should hurry, as this newest moniker will be his shortest-lived yet: “For a week, this week only, you can call me by my new name, Swag,” said the guy we’re not going to call “Swag,” after which he will presumably announce a new name that we’re not going to use either.