See? Gwyneth Paltrow Does Have Friends

See? Gwyneth Paltrow Does Have Friends

When you think "Korean cuisine with a Japanese flair," you think "Gwyneth Paltrow." Obviously. I mean, Gwyneth Paltrow just adores Asian culture. What kind of Asian culture? All of it. Just, you know, the whole thing. Gwyneth doesn't even see borders in Asia. She's border-blind.  How many people decorated the third guest bathroom in their London townhouse in a "Far East" motif? I mean, you should see that third guest bath. It is just darling. Gwyneth had her decorator (a dear sweet friend of hers, who also happens to be the decorator that Gwyneth's good friend Uncle Jay (aka Jay Z) uses) cut up an ancient Japanese kimono to accent the wainscotting, and then they did a gold foil treatment of characters from the Korean and Chinese alphabets on the walls. It is precious and beautiful and mysterious—just like Asia!

So, yes, of course Gwyneth Paltrow should teach you how to make bibimbop with kinpira carrots. True, she apparently doesn't know how to pronounce bibimbop, even though she claims it's one of her favorite dishes. And, well, no she doesn't know what's in that miso sauce, even though the recipe is written right there on her Goopy newsletter. But just in case you don't trust Gwyneth to teach you how to make a Korean/Japanese fusion dish, she got one of her dear, dear friends to make it for her. No, not William Joel. No, not Madge Ciccone. Those are her dear, dear, dear friends. But for this video she got some chef guy to cook for her—which is really helpful because that's what Gwynnie is used to (everyone should have a personal chef; it really nourishes your inner aspect), and because, well, Gwyneth seems a little stoned in this video:

Despite her uncharacteristic mix of giddyness and dopeyness, I don't think Gwyneth is actually stoned in this video—mostly because the cobalt-blue antique enamel case where Gwyneth keeps her marihuana isn't visible anywhere in the background. Still, how can you explain this:

"Fusion…FUSE-un"

And this root vegetable horseplay:

Most likely I think that Gwyneth is experiencing a human contact high, simply from being around another person. When you spend most of your days staring into a giant gilded mirror salvaged from a glamourous, old, turn-of-the-century seaside hotel on the coast of Spain, and mumbling thoughts about your newsletter for your personal secretary into an antique dictaphone that no one has told you is broken, you forget what other people are like. So when Gwyneth left her mirror, went down to the service kitchen, and got to interact with one of these "people" for a few minutes, it must have been quite a rush.

 
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