The time is drawing nigh to pick a permanent successor to Regis Philbin, lest the Sumerian gods become angered that no one is having the sort of soothing, gently teasing banter with Kelly Ripa that is only the thing preventing them from rising out of the ocean to smite everyone. And according to Showbiz 411's Roger Friedman, it's very likely that Seth Meyers will be the one to fill Philbin's abandoned chair, both because of his proven rapport with Ripa's concentrated perkiness and because he is the exact proper weight to keep the booby trap from triggering, swapped in sort of like a sandbag that Indiana Jones might use to steal an idol. Beginning Monday, Meyers will get a full weeklong run during sweeps more or less as his final audition, hoping to beat out other finalists Josh Groban and Michael Strahan. If he ends up landing the job and pleasing the Old Ones, Meyers would continue to anchor Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update," but will probably have to leave behind his head writer gig—a job that the Sumerian gods haven't cared about since they were in college, you know, back when it was funny.
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