Shakira and Usher assume The Voice chairs of Christina Aguilera and Cee Lo Green in bloodless coup

No sooner had the acrid fog of napalm cleared from American Idol than another power struggle on another televised singing competition erupted, this time concerning NBC's The Voice and who will occupy its whirling thrones of blood. Fortunately, this appears to have been a relatively peaceful coup: Reuters reports that the fourth season will see Shakira and Usher brought in to replace Christina Aguilera and Cee Lo Green, respectively, thus maintaining the show's necessary balance of tiny blonde warbling women and R&B singers who make everything uncomfortably sexual, and not triggering the booby traps.

The substitution will also allow Aguilera to tour behind the new album she's releasing in November, Green to concentrate on that recently announced sitcom about his life, and everyone else to have enough respite from both of them to develop anticipation for those endeavors, hypothetically speaking. Shakira and Usher will make their debut in the spring of 2013, suddenly bursting from a Cee Lo's chest as he first begins to wobble before finally cracking open like an egg.