Somebody wrote a 104-page Gatsby adaptation for the Muppets

Not every post on Reddit is worthy of an upvote (or gold, or whatever else it is that people are doing on Reddit nowadays). But when a post is titled, “Two Weeks Ago, a Post on /r/Movies About the Demand for a “Muppet’s Great Gatsby” Went Viral. I’ve Answered That Call. Here is a 104 Page Screenplay and Poster for “Muppets Present The Great Gatsby,” do you really need to click through to know it’s going to be a goddamn delight? It’s like the most rage-inducing AITA posts, only instead of yelling “DUMP HIM” into the void, you’re likely to yell “SOMEONE GREENLIGHT THIS” instead.

Writer Ben Crew really didn’t phone this one in. It is, as promised, 104 pages—105, if you count the title page. There are songs. There are bits. There’s a whole thing where Gonzo and Rizzo get a copy of The Great Gatsby. A brief excerpt:

GONZO
What’d you get?

Rizzo holds up a book copy of The Great Gatsby.

RIZZO
Now we can finally know what Nick is thinking!

They look up and see Nick is gone, the light of the party growing in intensity over the hedges.

GONZO
Where’d he go?

RIZZO
Hold on, I can find out.

Rizzo flips ahead in the book.

RIZZO (CONT’D)
Daisy’s house!

They run off in the opposite direction and suddenly stop.

GONZO
Fitz, we already did that scene.

Rizzo pulls the book back out and flips ahead twenty pages.

RIZZO
Gatsby’s house!

They run off towards the hedge entrance.

Wonderful. Just wonderful. And he didn’t stop at the screenplay. He also made a poster and, naturally, included a proposed cast list in the original post:

Gatsby – Kermit the Frog

Nick Carraway: – Actor [Dream cast – Tom Holland]

Daisy – Miss Piggy

Tom Buchanan – Actor [Dream cast – Taron Egerton]

George Wilson – Fozzie Bear

Myrtle Wilson – Actress [Dream cast – Rebecca Ferguson]

Jordan Baker – Actress paired with Camilla the Chicken

Fitz & Gerald – Rizzo & Gonzo (new 4th wall breaking characters paired with Nick)

Meyer Wolfsheim – Pepe the King Prawn (known here as Meyer Wolfprawn)

Klipsrpinger the Pianist – Rowlf the Dog

Owl Eyes – Scooter

We have no notes. That said, we’d like to submit this as a possible closing credits song:

Why are there so many songs about boats borne
Ceaselessly to the past?
Ladies are visions
Dreams are illusions
The American Dream cannot last…