Someone paid $600K for a feces-smeared, pee-stained, rotten meat-stocked, dead cat Hell House
The person was willing to spend a pretty penny for a realtor-described "little slice of hell," proving we don't understand the real estate market one bit
Back in early May, Mimi Foster—a real estate agent destined for the profession by her name alone—posted a video to her YouTube page detailing an impressively desecrated house set for the market in the Colorado Springs area. “In the decades of being a real estate agent and a landlord, nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to encounter,” Foster said at the video’s outset, and good Lord, she did not disappoint.
The property, 4525 Churchill Ct., boasted a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom 3,598-square-feet “little slice of hell, as described by the original listing. It was a sales pitch that, for once, did not exaggerate the situation one damn bit. Of note in Foster’s 7-minute, vandalized McMansion tour clip:
- Wood-rotted exteriors
- Spray-painted obscenities on nearly every open surface and appliance
- Poop, both human and animal, everywhere
- Plastic bins full of aforementioned poop
- Carpets “saturated” with urine
- Sledgehammer holes in the walls
- A freezer full of rotten meat
- Two dead cats in a bathroom
- An empty bottle of Pure Leaf tea on a countertop (seriously, who drinks that stuff?)
According to Foster, the residential biohazard was the result of a “crazy as a bedbug” tenant evicted by the former owners and landlord after months of lapsed rent payments. This tenant, it’s also worth mentioning, was not the person on the home’s lease—Foster surmises that woman died some time ago, and the woman evicted from the hell house was a relative of the deceased.
Regardless of who was the last to turn the lights out (as well as spray-paint “How do you like the shit on the carpet?” on said carpet), stories like this aren’t exactly rare. There are a lot of troubled people out there, a lot of terrible property managers, and all manner of combinations thereof. We won’t get into the predatory nature of the American rental market here, nor eviction policies during a deadly pandemic… although, given the ample evidence of horrific animal cruelty, we’re gonna side with the realtors on this one.
And yet, as shocking as the damage is, it pales in comparison to the grotesque bewilderment at how much someone ended up paying for the place once Foster’s video went viral. “Over a three-day period, we had over 500 text messages, 300 emails, 22 actual offers in hand and about 50 text offers,” Foster told a local news outlet before confirming that the Colorado Springs Hell House sold for “well above” its asking price of $590,000… proving we don’t have the faintest goddamn clue about how money, real estate, or property management works.
Despite that, we wish a sincere godspeed to whoever decided to put down money on the obvious backdrop for an upcoming Netflix domestic thriller about an ex-tenant terrorizing the home’s newest occupants. As for Foster, she’s setting out on a quest of her own:
“Something smells stronger than this house, and I intend to pursue it,” Foster says near her video’s conclusion. “One of the morals of this story is to hire a property management company who is credible. I am going after one that’s not.”
Hell yeah, Mimi. We’re also looking forward to her John Wick-esque revenge actioner… presumably also premiering on Netflix soon since they own everything now.
[via BoingBoing]
Send Great Job, Internet tips to [email protected]