Latching onto the hottest internet trends of 2014, Sony has announced a director for its upcoming horror movie based on the well-dressed online boogeyman known as the Slenderman. The new film—not to be confused with HBO’s upcoming documentary Beware The Slenderman, which centers on the real-life tragedy that ensued when a pair of young girls stabbed a classmate out of a fearful fascination with the internet story—will be helmed by Stomp The Yard director Sylvain White.
It’s not clear which interpretation Sony’s Screen Gems studio will use for the character, who mostly serves to stand in the background of otherwise mundane home videos, causing static and tracking problems, and utilizing his powers to make over-excited teenagers scream “Holy shit!” in the comments whenever he appears. Also, it’s not clear how well White’s talents—which he also put to mixed effect on 2010’s low-budget action flop The Losers—will mesh with a featureless, characterless antagonist whose main ability is screwing up camera shots and standing very still. If White really wants to tap into his dance-movie credentials, might we suggest he forego generic, internet-generated horror, and focus his abilities on the far more fabulous Splendorman, instead?