Previously on the high-school soap opera that rages behind the scenes at the Tonight Show: After a tense email exchange, Jay Leno and his main squeeze appeared to be on the verge of a breakup. Leno then lashed out at the network, but only in a half-kidding manner, because he loves the show and would never really do anything to hurt it, baby. But little did he know that Tonight was sending all sorts of signals Jimmy Fallon’s way, buying him expensive gifts and promising that it’d move to New York after it graduates to start a whole new life. And so the action reaches the pivotal point where Fallon stands up in front of the entire student body (or a studio audience) and declares that, yes, he and the Tonight Show were seen canoodling at Holly Fischer’s parents’ house and that they’re totally in love…
Or not. Fallon played down the rumors at the top of his Late Night monologue on Wednesday, and The Hollywood Reporter cites sources close to the host who say he’s uncomfortable with the way the new couple is handling its coming out. “But what about our dream home in Rockefeller Center?!” The Tonight Show cries in a teaser to the next episode, only further suggesting that things are moving too fast for Fallon’s tastes. Meanwhile, spurned lover Jay Leno seethes in a corner of the cafeteria, making vaguely threatening—but still lighthearted—jokes about the “extinction” of his soon-to-be ex’s parents. [Cue outro music.]