Whatever your feelings about Tuesday’s results—and barring some last-minute revelation that we’re all just living in a giant, tacky condo in his imagination—eventually, we must face the reality that is President Donald Trump. As it did with the hateful rhetoric that led to all this in the first place, television will play a large role in normalizing that. Much of the process has already begun, with Trump promising to build a giant wall—of compassion!—in his televised acceptance speech, and today’s footage of the meeting between Trump and President Obama, where Trump called Obama a “very good man,” and Obama was also pretty cool and didn’t even bring up the fact that Trump spent five years hounding him for his birth certificate or that the guy he’s handing the keys over to was openly endorsed by the KKK. So, really nice morning all around! And now Trump will sit for “his first extensive post-election interview” on 60 Minutes, where tragedy and controversy become just another part of a drowsy Sunday night dinner. Everything is normal.
Lesley Stahl—who previously sat with Trump and Vice-President-Elect Mike Pence for that awkward interview we all laughed and laughed about like fucking idiots—will talk to Trump again during this Sunday’s episode at his gold-slathered Manhattan residence, where Trump will lay out why he empathizes so deeply with the many struggling rural voters who put him in office, and presumably detail his complex plans for the many proposals he’s now been given the power to implement. For the other 56 minutes, Stahl will also talk to Trump’s family, including Melania, Ivanka, Donald Trump Jr., Eric Trump and “even Tiffany,” according to a needlessly cruel CBS press statement. And together, we will all get to know intimately this, our new First Family, as well as the true depths of our own icy terror.
Appearing on 60 Minutes has become something of a tradition for the president-elect, with President Obama sitting down for interviews there after both his successful campaigns, in the Before Times. Still, this is a new world, so wherever you may read this story, you will now find commenters warning Trump not to submit to the liberal media’s treachery, calling 60 Minutes, CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, etc. “the enemy,” demanding Stahl be forced to submit to an agreed-upon list of questions, and declaring that the only press who should ever have access to the president from now on is Sean Hannity. So, that’s where we’re at now, in case you’d somehow assumed that actually winning the goddamn thing would end this spread of paranoid vitriol. Nope. In victory, it’s only getting louder and more emboldened.
Trump’s interview airs Sunday, Nov. 13, at 7 p.m. ET, where you can scream fecklessly at it before curling into the fetal position.