In yet another Silicon Valley plot point brought to life, CNBC reports from the Recode media and tech conference in Rancho Palos Verdes, California, where a new startup called Ambrosia is looking to disrupt your circulatory system with a piping hot injection of young blood. For $8,000, customers can sign up to receive blood transfusions from healthy millennials, whose Snapchat-obsessed plasma supposedly contains powerful anti-aging properties.
The science on that is far from definitive, but real-life Silicon Valley billionaires like PayPal founder Peter Thiel—on whom the fictional Silicon Valley’s Gavin Belson is partially based—have publicly commented on the procedure’s “promise,” which is tech-speak for “I’m high on the blood of Thai pre-teens right now.” Ambrosia‘s Dr. Jesse Karmazin says that about 100 people have signed up for the procedure so far, and emphasizes that Thiel is not one of them, although “it’s possible he could have gone abroad.”
Anyone over the age of 35 with $8k to spare is eligible to sign up for Ambrosia, which Karmazin posits as a sort of voluntary clinical trial to study the effects of circulating youthful hemoglobin (which the company obtains from blood banks, by the way) through your veins like a junkie Elizabeth Bathory. Speaking of, you could also just get dolled up and go to a goth club in search of some self-proclaimed vampires who will share their blood donors with you. But vinyl pants are just so difficult to put on, you know?