Things you should stop caring about or start caring about. Immediately. Stop Caring About Nicole Richie
Please. Maybe if we all stop caring, then she'll stop with the half saltine and five drops of honey she allows herself daily, and it will all be over.
I mean, what exactly are we doing here? The public's fascination with Nicole Richie is like the public's fascination with NASCAR: Eyes are on the track, watching the cars go around and around, hoping, praying that one of them will starve to death.
Now, apparently, the June issue of Vanity Fair has an interview with Richie in which she discusses the only two things about her that people have any interest in, namely:
1. Her non-existent weight (Richie is quoted as saying, "I know I'm too thin right now.." Really? No kidding. Anyone who has eyes, or the opportunity to blindly grasp your bony wrist knows you're too thin right now. She makes this diving board look huge.)
AND
2. Her feud with Paris Hilton, which is the most boring feud in history. Honestly, who cares why Paris Hilton stopped hanging out with Nicole, or why Nicole "just decided" she didn't want to be friends with Paris anymore? Even if you watched
The Simple Life, although I'm convinced that no one actually did. It's like a 3rd grade lunchroom spat but with book deals. Start Caring About Ed vs. Spencer
If you're looking for an interesting televised feud, start watching BBC America's
Ed Vs. Spencer, a take-off on the cult Canadian series Kenny Vs. Spenny. The show follows two friends who are always locked in some kind of absurd competition to see who can get sickest, or who can survive in the woods the longest, or who can gain the most weight.
The contests are stupid, and so are Ed and Spencer in a lot of ways, but the creative and dumb ways they go about winning are hilarious. As is the rapport between Ed (the mean one), and Spencer (the sweet one).
If they ever got into a real feud, it would be ten times more fascinating than Nicole vs. Paris.